I’m a pretty freewheeling guy and often times I say anything that comes to mind. I quite enjoy the freedom that spontaneity gives me. Being an effusive reactionary, I sometimes find myself saying things too quickly or hurtful, and not worthy to come from my mouth…you know…cursory and not thought through. Sadly, I dismiss them without a thought or spin the damage by saying that it’s just the way I am… and without apology…move on. In this mode I’m a real danger to myself…. not fully realizing in the moment the penetrating consequence of this nonchalant notion. I exist in the actuation of words and feelings I’ve given myself permission to entertain. Simply put…I live in the thoughts I allow. Slowly, over time…as if on auto pilot… an insidious gravitational pull surreptitiously cheers on this subconscious “des ordures” as it creeps deeper and deeper into my psyche, leisurely bubbling in my soul. All of a sudden I say or think something and ask, “Where did that come from? Why did I say or think that, or act out in that way”. Like well aged cheese or wine…those earlier, once thoughtless musings or words come roaring back more powerfully than before. I thought they weren’t there but now realize they’re a grown up sepsis that was merely incubating for a time….and all this a result of my once casual notorization. The tongue is a fire in a controlled setting… even worse when it’s given unrestrained swath.
“Out of the treasure of the heart, the mouth speaks.”