I was going to write this little episode in the previous blog about my grocery store adventures, but Pam said that I had too many themes running. She says people tend to like shorter blogs than some of the “epistles I tend to write sometimes. I read everything to her before posting. She sorta edits my tendencies toward, as she says, “writer’s diarrhea”. Maybe I should’ve rephrased that, cuz it didn’t really come out right. Oh, man…that’s not what I meant either, it just slipped out… I’ll just quit right there. What’s that Tom Waits quote, “I’m buried beneath the wait of information.”
Well, same day I came out of the Publix grocery store waiting for Pam, I saw this diminutive cute, well-dressed and well-manicured grey haired lady approaching me holding her little dog. They were walking out of the Pet Smart store near by, and the closer she came into view I got a grin on my face. . You know how people say that a person kinda looks like their dog. Well I’m telling you for a fact…her little dog looked like this lady’s shrunken twin sister. It was so close it wasn’t funny. I sort of felt bad for the dog because it was tiny, but really fat. He literally looked much like a Pekinese matzo ball. She was talking up a storm to her little friend, who she called “Spooner”…her little “Spoonie”. I wonder if she named him after Spooner Oldham” the keyboardist andsongwriter who was a member of the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section playing on hit songs like “Mustang Sally and When A Man Loves A Woman. I’m leaning toward “Not a chance”. This lady was way too sophisticated. She had the poor dog dressed up in a tuxedo outfit with a little dog necklace…I guess that’s what it was. He looked SO uncomfortable and I thought for a minute he was probably thinking ….WOULD YOU ZIP IT FOR JUST A MINUTE, WOMAN. ….AND QUIT CALLING ME “SPOONIE”, DOG!! I love thinking about all the possible things animals aren’t saying…but they’re thinking.
And while we’re on the subject of dogs, did you hear the news about the two new breeds that the American kennel club is introducing. Here’s what Google says about the two breeds.
The two are…”A spirited Dutch duck-luring dog and a friendly French rabbit hound are now running with the American Kennel Club’s pack. The club announced Wednesday that it’s recognizing the Nederlandse kooikerhondje (NAY-dehr-lahn-seh KOY-kehr-hahnd-jeh) and the grand basset griffon Vendeen (vahn-DAY-ahn).”
Now there’s a mouthful.
Okay, I’m just trying to figure out how a dog lures a duck. Dogs don’t even talk duck. There’s already a language barrier. Am I to assume that the dog dresses seductively…. you know, like that lady dressed up her poor Spoonie. Except in this case the female dog would probably be wearing a canine tank top and some red doggie pumps. Now that would be alluring! The male dog would probably don a blue jean bottom and a fur-tight white t-shirt top with a WWF baseball cap worn backwards.
And let’s talk about the other breed that you have to take a Rosetta Stone course to pronounce…..”grand basset griffon Vendeen”….Give that a spin on your Google translator. Harder to pronounce but easier to understand what this bow-wow is about. They catch rabbits. This breed would be like the hunting companion for the French version of Elmer Fudd. It’s bad enough these poor rabbits are getting chased all over French wine country, but even worse…. They can’t warn their fellow rabbits, because they’re unable to pronounce the dog’s name. Give me a break. SHEESH!!!!