THAT’S WHY

I can’t tell you how much I relate to this cartoon. It confirms to me that I am not the only one that has found himself in this situation. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

I was a gear hound in my production days. I bought so many esoteric/vintage microphones, pre-amps, transformers, speakers, compressors, equalizers, monitoring systems, etc., it would make your head swim. It was my audio palette, and I used it ferociously. Racks and racks of gear were the aural foodstuff of my musical existence.

One time I might of pushed the boundaries a little too far. I heard a friend play a wonderful piano at a concert one night. I stuck around afterwards and put my fingers on the keys. It was a beautiful instrument, evenly tempered and sonically pleasing through every octave. It was a special artist series piano that was tweaked to the max.

When the Baldwin franchise here in Nashville went belly up, they remembered that I was interested in this particular piano, they called me and gave me an opportunity to purchase it…and I did just that. HOWEVER, I didn’t have enough in the “filch fund” that I used to buy equipment when Pam wouldn’t let me take any more money out of our checking account. (She knew about that fund too, and sometimes would say, “Why don’t you take it out of your “filch” fund?”) it was like she had eyes in the back of her head!!!

..I somehow finagled the purchase, but had to wait for a couple of months before it was more safe to tell Pam. They hoisted it up and into my 4th floor office/studio with a crane, because the elevator could not handle a 9-ft grand. When I finally did tell Pam, she said…”HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!!!”

I told her that in fact I had lost my mind…but unfortunately, that wasn’t the kind of levity that was resonating with her just then, For her, it was like a joke without the humor.

Let me just say this to every young musician everywhere…If you wrong your wife, hide anything from your wife, misinform your wife, omit any facts from your wife….in any way whatsoever ….they have a special antenna…an alien-like antenna that reports to a “wife center” in their heads…After that, they get the IB (Intuition Bulletin) from their subconscious. What follows next is this. They don’t seem to talk much to you… there is little eye contact…but when they do look at you..they just stare at you in a real uncomfortable way. …This is the beginning of the end of any happiness you once knew.

Here’s the VERY BAD NEWS PART…You can’t possibly win or get back to how things were, no matter how you frame it, unless you fess up to it.And even that’s a long road back home too. Yah…and they have a myriad of ways to make your life miserable….and I’m not talking kinda miserable….I mean, REALLY REALLY MISERABLE.!!!! Why do they do this you ask me?. Because if you’ve forgotten…YOU DESERVE IT…THAT’S WHY!!!!! 😮

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