Why is it that some men find it difficult to admit a mistake or be so reticent to apologize? One of the things I have a great problem with is misreading my wife’s expressions. I have a quick reaction if I think my wife is dismissing me. Most times she’s completely innocent and my strong response hurts her feelings. Even if she isn’t innocent (she’s allowed) and I don’t need to raise my voice. I know at the core it’s a combination of ego, insecurity and anger. That’s a terrible mix.
I don’t display that with anyone else, often showing more deference to others around me than her. It is one of my many character flaws. I try to ask her forgiveness but she doesn’t think I’m really sincere, she’s heard it too often. In her mind, if I was seriously remorseful, it wouldn’t ever happen again…but it does….and she’s right. It’s totally embarrassing to me that I would be so unkind to someone so precious to me. Probably few have to deal with this, but this is my thorn in the flesh. We get along famously when it’s just the two of us…but if anyone else is in the mix, our mojo is disrupted and this is when the situation is more prone to occur.
Pam works with me on this and many other situations on a daily basis. Some of these peccadillos are sorta funny.
“I’m home…Greg….I’m home..” Pam comes into the house after two hours of running errands. I walk in the kitchen to greet her. “You get everything done you needed”, I ask. She replies “Not all, but enough for today. You take out the pork chops?” Responding redundantly I query, “Did you say, pork chops?. “Yeah honey, I asked you to take out the pork chops for dinner, remember?” “No, you didn’t ask me to take out the pork chops”. She answers,“I most certainly did”. “Whoa, Nelly…You didn’t ask me to take out the pork chops” is my emphatic reply. She continues, “Oh brother, let me get out of these clothes and then we’ll talk.”
She comes back a few minutes later and the conversation blossoms. “Greg, remember when you ask me if I needed you to do something for me while I was gone, and I thanked you and said to take out the pork chops so they could thaw out?” My rambling response begins. “No, I don’t remember because you didn’t ask me. You might think that you asked me…but you didn’t ask me…maybe you thought you asked me….maybe you asked someone else…but you sure didn’t ask me, I’m positive.”
“Well, Mr Positive, let’s review.” You do remember telling me you’d do something for me, which I must say I thought was a very nice gesture on your part.…you do remember that, right?” “Yes, I do remember that part…the good gesture part”. “Good, now we’re getting somewhere. Let me ask you this, Greg. What is the next thing I said to you after you asked me if I needed anything?” Scratching my head as the memory of her request sinuously begins to come into focus…..”Well…uh…You might of said something kinda like that but I think maybe I blacked out or something”…”No, Greg….People who drink too much alcohol black out…so you didn’t black out…and if you say you felt faint or something lame like that…I’m gonna have to restrain myself!!!
Sheesh, honey, why are you getting all Perry Mason on me like this?” “Honey..honey…It’s okay…just tell me you forgot, that’s all I need to hear. I forgot the pork chops….go ahead now….say it…I forgot the pork chops. See how easy it comes out of my mouth. Now why don’t you try it…go on….say it…it won’t hurt”….So I mutter with a restrained grin, “Oh, man….Okay…I forgot the STINKIN pork chops. Then Pam smiles, pats me on the back and says…”Now go get the pork chops. Case closed.